Episode 82 – Using Your Systems to Create Rest (Not Just More Work) with Caroline Dilbeck
Systems are supposed to make life easier, but what happens when the space they create just gets filled with more work?
In this episode of De-Stress the Nest, Hannah Morgan talks with Caroline Dilbeck, founder of Home Team Playbooks, about using systems to create real margin and restorative rest.
Caroline shares why rest has to be more than a spa day or another productivity goal. True rest is not attached to achievement, it is predictable and rhythmic, and it looks different for every person. From meal planning to delegating household tasks, Caroline explains how practical home systems can create white space on the calendar and help busy parents actually use that space well.
If you’ve ever created a system only to immediately fill the freed-up time with more tasks, this episode is for you.
Key Takeaways
Systems should create margin: The goal is not to create more capacity for more work, but more space for what restores you.'
Rest is not another achievement: True rest is not about hitting 10,000 steps or checking off another self-improvement task.
Rest should be predictable: Rhythmic, repeatable rest helps your body learn that stillness is safe.
Rest is personal: What feels restorative for one person may not work for another.
Clear systems make delegation possible: When tasks are clearly documented, others can step in with less confusion.
Defensive scheduling protects rest: White space needs to be guarded the same way you would guard an important meeting.
Quotes
“The second we get a little space, we instinctively fill it up with more to do.”
“Systems inherently create margin.”
“Restorative rest is not attached to productivity.”
“It fills you up without demanding anything from you.”
“We’re not great about protecting the space that’s most valuable to us.”
Resources Mentioned
HomeTeam Playbooks - A library of customizable playbooks that turn everyday family systems into simple, repeatable processes so your household runs more smoothly with less mental load.
Heron House Management– Virtual house management for busy families: we handle your to-dos so you can focus on what matters most.
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This episode of De-Stress the Nest is sponsored by Working Moms Movement.
About Heron House Management:
Heron House Management is a virtual house management service that takes the stress out of your busy life by taking on your mental load and managing your To Do list. We provide fractional virtual house management for busy families at 10, 15 and 20+ hours/month.
Meal planning, signing up for kids activities, scheduling doctor's appointments, finding a house cleaner, planning your kid's birthday party, getting quotes for that home renovation project, or scheduling a monthly date night with your significant other and so much more. We do it all!
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00:00
Hannah Morgan: Welcome to De-Stress the Nest, a podcast for busy parents where experts share bite-sized tips on how to create systems that minimize stress at home. I'm your host, Hannah Morgan.00:14
Hannah Morgan: Today’s episode is sponsored by Working Moms Movement, a coaching and systems-based program designed to help working moms stop living in survival mode and start building a life that actually works.00:32
Hannah Morgan: Through a combination of personalized coaching and building practical, real-life systems, Working Moms Movement helps you reduce overwhelm, reclaim your time, and feel more present in both your career and your family, without having to sacrifice one for the other.00:52
Hannah Morgan: If you’ve ever felt like you’re doing everything “right” but still feel constantly behind, this is for you. You can learn more at workingmomsmovement.com.01:10
Hannah Morgan: Caroline, I am so excited to have you on the show today. Let’s start by hearing a little bit more about who you are and what you do.01:20
Caroline Dilbeck: Thanks, Hannah. I’m so grateful to be here and to be part of this podcast. I’m Caroline Dilbeck, founder of Home Team Playbooks. First and foremost, I’m a mom to two little boys who are 18 months apart, so my house is wild.01:44
Caroline Dilbeck: In another life, I was a pediatric ICU nurse before moving into hospital operations and quality. I thought I understood pressure, long hours, and nonstop responsibility, but becoming a mom of two under two during the pandemic showed me a completely different world.02:12
Caroline Dilbeck: I realized everything it took to run a home and family, and I decided to create a solution that would make my life easier. Creating a home management system finally gave me back the margin and rest I had been looking for. Now we create digital playbooks for families through Home Team.02:40
Hannah Morgan: Awesome. Thank you so much for sharing your expertise. I’m so glad you’re here with us.02:50
Hannah Morgan: Today we’re talking about something so important, which is not just the importance of rest, but how to actually make it happen in a meaningful way so you can show up as your best self.03:12
Hannah Morgan: Let’s talk about some systems and lessons you use with your clients and in your own home for optimizing rest.03:24
Caroline Dilbeck: If you’re anything like me or most parents, the second we get a little space, we instinctively fill it up with more to do. There is always another kid’s birthday party, another commitment, another thing.03:46
Caroline Dilbeck: I think our culture has taught us that moving feels safer than being still. But we rarely pause and ask, what would actually help me show up more fully in the areas that matter most?04:08
Caroline Dilbeck: When we talk about systems, we’re really talking about building capacity. At Home Team, we think of systems as creating margin, white space on your calendar, and breathing room.04:30
Caroline Dilbeck: The next question becomes, what do I do with that space? Most of us have a list a mile long that will automatically fill it up.04:48
Caroline Dilbeck: So we’re not talking about rest like a spa day. We’re talking about restorative rest that is not attached to productivity.05:06
Caroline Dilbeck: For example, if you implement a meal planning playbook and it gives you 15 minutes back in your evening, instead of filling that space with another task, fill it with restorative rest.05:30
Caroline Dilbeck: Restorative rest is not tied to achievement. It’s not hitting 10,000 steps or reading 55 pages for book club. It’s going on a walk because it’s beautiful outside and the sunshine feels good.05:58
Caroline Dilbeck: It’s also predictable and rhythmic. It’s something your body can look forward to. That’s how we retrain our bodies to believe that rest is okay and safe.06:20
Hannah Morgan: So what you’re saying is that I shouldn’t just be laying on the couch staring at the wall for the rest of my day?06:30
Caroline Dilbeck: Make it predictable and rhythmic, and make it unique to you. Maybe it’s cross-stitching, gardening, golf, pickup basketball, mahjong, or a puzzle. The common thread is that it fills you up without demanding anything from you.07:00
Caroline Dilbeck: And I know the next thought is, that sounds great, but I don’t have time for rest. That is why Home Team exists. We create systems that give families more capacity and margin so they can rest and show up more fully.07:28
Hannah Morgan: Let’s talk about those systems. Where does the white space come from?07:38
Caroline Dilbeck: Systems broadly create margin. One example is delegating laundry to a teenage child. Without a system, “do the laundry” may mean your favorite shirt shrinks, your white socks turn pink, or the uniform isn’t ready on time.08:08
Caroline Dilbeck: But when we have a system, we set parameters around who does what, how it gets done, and when it gets done. At Home Team, we help families write out tasks in a clear way so they can hand things over effectively.08:36
Caroline Dilbeck: We help identify the 80% of home and family tasks that most families share, and then we help get the remaining 20% out of your brain so you can actually receive help in a systematic way.09:02
Hannah Morgan: I love that because it allows you to expand your team. With the right expectations and a clear system, other people in your home can fully and independently take things off your plate.09:24
Hannah Morgan: As far as systemizing rest, do you suggest clients schedule it on the calendar?09:32
Caroline Dilbeck: Yes. We use a tactic I call defensive scheduling. It is essentially time blocking. It starts with believing rest is important and guarding that time the way you would guard a meeting with your boss.09:48
Caroline Dilbeck: We’re good at booking meetings. We’re not always good at protecting the space that’s most valuable to us.09:54
Hannah Morgan: Thank you for sharing that. Such actionable insight.09:58
Hannah Morgan: Thanks for listening to De-Stress the Nest, the podcast where experts share bite-sized tips on how to minimize stress at home. Don’t forget to subscribe and tune in every Tuesday for more ways to simplify your life.
