Episode 62: Building Your Village with Ajantha Suriyanarayanan
In this episode, Hannah is joined by Ajantha Suriyanarayanan, behavioral researcher, product strategist, and founder of Mental Load, an AI companion built to simplify household coordination and reduce the invisible burden that so many women carry. After years of juggling motherhood, leadership, and career demands, Ajantha realized there wasn’t a tech solution for the real pain point — managing the mental load. So she built one herself.
Together, Hannah and Ajantha dive into what it truly means to “build your village” — not just through people, but through systems and tools that support modern families. They discuss the barriers that keep women from asking for help, why “delegation fatigue” is real, and how reframing the language of support can help households function more equitably and peacefully.
Key Takeaways
You don’t have to do it all: Being capable doesn’t mean you’re obligated to carry everything.
Shift the language around support: It’s not “help” — it’s partnership.
True delegation reduces mental load: If asking for support adds stress, it’s time to fix the system.
Fear of judgment is a major barrier: We need cultural change that normalizes asking for help.
Technology can be part of your village: Use tools that automate, remind, and communicate for you.
Quotes
“We’re capable of everything, but that doesn’t mean we need to do everything.”
“Delegation shouldn’t feel like more work — it should be freedom.”
“He’s not babysitting — he’s parenting.”
“Asking for support isn’t a weakness; it’s an act of strength.”
“Your village can include people and tools — both lighten the load.”
Resources Mentioned
Mental Load – AI Companion for Life Management: A tech platform designed to help families delegate seamlessly, automate reminders, and reduce the cognitive load of managing home life.
Heron House Management: Virtual house management for busy families: we handle your to-dos so you can focus on what matters most.
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This episode of De-Stress the Nest is sponsored by Heron House Management.
About Heron House Management:
Heron House Management is a virtual house management service that takes the stress out of your busy life by taking on your mental load and managing your To Do list. We provide fractional virtual house management for busy families at 10, 15 and 20+ hours/month.
Meal planning, signing up for kids activities, scheduling doctor's appointments, finding a house cleaner, planning your kid's birthday party, getting quotes for that home renovation project, or scheduling a monthly date night with your significant other and so much more. We do it all!
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00:02 — Hannah Morgan:
Welcome to De-Stress the Nest, a podcast for busy parents where experts share bite-sized tips on how to create systems that minimize stress at home. I'm your host, Hannah Morgan.00:12 — Hannah Morgan:
Today’s episode is sponsored by Heron House Management — the first-ever virtual house management service that lightens your mental load by handling your to-do list with monthly subscriptions of 10, 15, and 20+ hours per month. From meal planning and doctor’s appointments to birthday parties and home projects, Heron House Management helps busy families reclaim their time and live their best lives. Learn more at heronhousemanagement.com.00:26 — Hannah Morgan:
Ajantha, I'm thrilled to have you on the show today. So let's start by talking a little bit about who you are and what you do.00:33 — Ajantha Suriyanarayanan:
Lovely to be here, Hannah. Thank you for inviting me. My name is Ajantha Suriyanarayanan. By training, I'm a behavioral researcher and product strategist. Currently, I'm the founder and CEO of Mental Load—an agent-AI companion for stress-free life management.We’ve all been there: working mom, default parent for two little kids—my adorable rats—plus big demands at work and in leadership roles. While climbing my corporate ladder was brilliant, it also left me burnt out. I went looking for a tech solution that would help me manage my life better and reduce the mental load I was carrying day to day. I didn’t find one… so I decided to build my own.
01:17 — Hannah Morgan:
Fantastic. Thanks for joining us—we’re excited.01:20 — Ajantha Suriyanarayanan:
Thank you for having me.01:23 — Hannah Morgan:
Today we're diving into a topic very near and dear to my heart: building your village—seeking and asking for support, and understanding how delegation can improve your quality of life. So let’s talk about it.01:33 — Ajantha Suriyanarayanan:
As a working parent, Hannah, I’m sure you can relate. We do so much. We handle everything at work, and if you’re in a leadership role, you’re carrying the weight of your team. At home, you're carrying the household responsibilities. I’m fortunate to have an involved partner, yet I still feel the pressure of doing a lot.This isn’t always because we don’t have a village—or “lifesavers,” as I call them. It’s because many of us don’t know how to reach out for support.
We’re capable of everything: scheduling dentist appointments, swapping out rain boots, planning vacations, managing vaccinations—all of it. But the real question is: do we need to?
02:04 — Ajantha Suriyanarayanan:
The language of “help” can feel off—especially with partners. It’s not “help.” They’re equal partners running the household. That’s why phrases like “Is Dad babysitting tonight?” are nails on a chalkboard. He’s not babysitting—he’s parenting.What we actually need is mutual support. But the women I spoke with throughout my Mental Load research often told me: “My partner wants to be supportive, but he doesn’t know how.”
02:31 — Ajantha Suriyanarayanan:
For example, if she’s planning a birthday party and he says, “Let’s just order pizza and let the kids run around”—that might work, but it’s not what she envisioned. She delegates, but then has to explain every step and follow up afterward.Suddenly she’s the household project manager, which increases her mental load.
So she avoids asking for support because it’s actually more work.
02:58 — Ajantha Suriyanarayanan:
That’s where Mental Load comes in. If the pain point is “Delegating takes too much effort,” we want to solve that.For example: “Hey Melo—please request my partner to take the kids to soccer practice every Wednesday at 4 PM.” The app then tells him what to pack, which child goes where, when to leave, and sends her a notification when it’s done.
She’s not the project manager anymore. She can genuinely take it off her mind.
Learning to lean on your village—and your tools—is essential. I want women to feel empowered to stop carrying everything alone.
03:42 — Hannah Morgan:
I hear from so many women who feel stigma around asking for support. Even now, there’s still the outdated idea that women should be able to do it all. What is it—individually and culturally—that keeps us from truly leaning on our village?03:56 — Ajantha Suriyanarayanan:
Even in households where women and men earn the same and have similar roles, men end up with more personal time each week than women. Not because women don't value personal time—we crave it. That’s why we end up doomscrolling at 1 AM.This expectation that women hold everything together has been internalized for centuries. But today, the bigger issue is fear of judgment.
04:24 — Ajantha Suriyanarayanan:
When men need a break, society shrugs. When women do, people question their dedication or capability. Even pushing a stroller while on your phone earns judgment.So between fear of judgment and fear of becoming the household project manager, many women avoid reaching out—even when they have a village ready to support them.
05:08 — Hannah Morgan:
Thank you for sharing that. Once we can name the pressures and expectations around us, we can start dismantling them and define our own version of partnership, household management, and self-care.05:22 — Ajantha Suriyanarayanan:
Exactly. I hope more women ask for support and delegate when they need to.05:28 — Hannah Morgan:
Absolutely.10:28 — Hannah Morgan:
Thanks for listening to De-Stress the Nest — the podcast where experts share bite-sized tips on how to simplify your life. Don’t forget to subscribe and tune in every Tuesday for more ways to make home feel easier.
