Episode 60: How to Ditch the Travel Mom Guilt with Helen Harmetz
Traveling as a parent — whether for work or rest — can bring up a lot of guilt. In this episode, host Hannah Morgan talks with executive coach and working parent Helen Harmetz, who has navigated frequent travel while raising two children and supporting a partner who also works and travels. Helen shares the mindset shifts and practical systems that make travel work for her family.
From establishing non-negotiable routines, to eliminating scorekeeping with your partner, to letting go of control while away — Helen offers grounded, compassionate advice for parents who want to thrive personally and professionally. Whether you travel often or are simply planning a solo weekend away, this episode will help you travel with confidence, presence, and peace.
Key Takeaways
Set shared expectations upfront: Agree on frequency, timing, and boundaries around travel.
No scorekeeping: When one partner returns home, slide back into routines without “making up” for time away.
Let go while you’re gone: Trust your systems and partner — avoid remote micromanagement.
Use one shared family system: A shared calendar + shared message threads reduces mental load and prevents rework.
Give yourself grace: Your kids are supported, cared for, and connected — even when you’re not physically home.
Quotes
“You don’t have to apologize for enjoying time away — rest supports the whole family.”
“You can’t be fully present at work if you’re trying to micromanage home from a hotel room.”
“Not keeping score is one of the greatest gifts you can give your partnership.”
“Your kids are loved and supported — even when you’re not physically there.”
“Letting go is a practice. And it gets easier the more you do it.”
Resources Mentioned
Helen Harmetz — Mind the Beet: Executive coach for working parents and tech professionals. Connect with Helen on Instagram @mindthebeet.
Heron House Management: Virtual house management for busy families: we handle your to-dos so you can focus on what matters most.
Subscribe & Leave a Review:
If you enjoyed this episode, please subscribe and leave a review on Spotify, iHeartRadio, Apple Podcasts or your favorite podcast platform. Your feedback helps us reach more listeners and continue to bring you valuable content!
Episodes Released Weekly on Tuesdays
This episode of De-Stress the Nest is sponsored by Heron House Management.
About Heron House Management:
Heron House Management is a virtual house management service that takes the stress out of your busy life by taking on your mental load and managing your To Do list. We provide fractional virtual house management for busy families at 10, 15 and 20+ hours/month.
Meal planning, signing up for kids activities, scheduling doctor's appointments, finding a house cleaner, planning your kid's birthday party, getting quotes for that home renovation project, or scheduling a monthly date night with your significant other and so much more. We do it all!
-
[00:02] Hannah Morgan:
Welcome to De-Stress the Nest, a podcast for busy parents where experts share bite-sized tips on how to create systems that minimize stress at home. I'm your host, Hannah Morgan.[00:12] Hannah Morgan:
Today’s episode is sponsored by Heron House Management — the first-ever virtual house management service that lightens your mental load by handling your to-do list with monthly subscriptions of 10, 15, and 20+ hours per month. From meal planning and doctor’s appointments to birthday parties and home projects, Heron House Management helps busy families reclaim their time and live their best lives. Learn more at heronhousemanagement.com.[00:27] Hannah Morgan:
Welcome back to this week’s episode. Today, we’re talking with Helen Harmetz, an executive coach for working parents and tech professionals, about how to navigate the mom guilt that comes with work travel — including mindset shifts, logistics, and setting expectations with your partner. Whether you travel regularly or are planning a future solo trip or work opportunity, this conversation will help you feel more grounded and empowered.[00:48] Hannah Morgan:
Helen, I’m so excited to have you on the show today. Let’s start with a little bit about who you are and what you do.[00:54] Helen Harmetz:
Thank you, Hannah. I’m excited to be here. I’m an executive coach for working parents and for people who work in tech. I’ve spent about 15 years in both big tech and startups. I’m also a mom of two, married to a partner who also works in tech, and we have a very full household — including a dog. My goal is to help parents live and work with intention.[01:16] Hannah Morgan:
So today, we’re talking about mom guilt when traveling. This comes up for so many parents. You’ve lived this personally and worked through it — so walk us through what helped you.[01:28] Helen Harmetz:
Yes — I took a job in 2021 that required monthly travel, and my partner and I had to really sit down and decide how we were going to make that work. He also has a big job and travels occasionally. We established three key things:First, we set very clear ground rules. For example, no weekend travel for me. I would leave Monday and return Thursday or Friday. His travel is less frequent but longer, and he always gives advance notice. We made travel an expected part of our rhythm, not something to negotiate every time.
Second, we agreed to no scorekeeping. When one person is traveling, the other is doing double-duty with bedtime and routines — but when you come back, you don’t “owe” anything. You just slide back into your usual roles. That has been huge for maintaining peace and preventing resentment.
Third, I had to learn to let things go. When I’m gone, I’m gone. I’m not texting from a hotel about snack time or bedtime. If the kids eat out more that week? If the schedule looks different? That’s okay. The goal is that they’re loved, safe, and supported — not that everything is identical to how I would do it.
[03:15] Hannah Morgan:
I love that. And I imagine systems play a big role in making that possible. What helps your family stay coordinated?[03:23] Helen Harmetz:
Yes — systems are everything. We share a family calendar, and both of us always have full access to all events. We are also both on every carpool thread.Before I travel, I tell the group:
“Hey, I’m out of town this week — contact my partner or our nanny for logistics.”And then — this is key — I do not respond to logistics texts when I’m away. It prevents confusion and allows the parent at home to lead.
[04:24] Hannah Morgan:
That’s such an important boundary — and a hard one. Let's talk about the emotional side. How do you help parents work through the guilt of missing things?[04:33] Helen Harmetz:
We are our harshest critics. We imagine our absence matters more than it usually does.A reframe that helped me early on:
If you miss the first time your child does something, there will be a second time.
And a third. And a fourth. You won’t miss all of it.And I also evaluate intentionally:
I won’t travel on my child’s birthday.
But I have traveled on my anniversary, and my husband and I make up for it another time.
If you’ve built strong systems of care around your kids, them being temporarily cared for by someone else does not diminish your bond.
[06:18] Hannah Morgan:
That mindset shift is huge — especially realizing that your kids are still held, still connected, still supported.[06:26] Helen Harmetz:
Exactly. And investing in yourself — whether it’s travel for work or rest — allows you to come back more grounded and present.“Healthy parent, healthy family” really is true.
[10:57] Hannah Morgan:
Helen, thank you so much for sharing your wisdom and your lived experience.[11:05] Hannah Morgan:
Thanks for listening to De-Stress the Nest — the podcast where experts share bite-sized tips on how to simplify your life. Don’t forget to subscribe and tune in every Tuesday for more ways to make home feel easier.
