Episode 54: Focusing on the basic needs first with carly buxton
When life gets overwhelming, where do you start? For Carly Buxton, co-founder and CEO of Parent Swarm, the answer is simple: protect the basics.
In this episode, Carly shares the framework she developed with her therapist during the chaos of the COVID years — a personal “back to basics” list that she still relies on today. By focusing first on foundational needs like sleep, healthy food, and exercise, Carly has created a practical system for lowering stress and staying grounded.
Whether you’re navigating school closures, sickness, or simply the everyday chaos of parenting, Carly’s wisdom will help you strip things down to what really matters and build back from there.
Key Takeaways
Protecting the basics starts with identifying your non-negotiable needs.
Small adjustments — like cutting alcohol, ordering groceries, or doing a short workout — can transform stressful weeks.
Writing down your “basics” keeps them front of mind, even on the good days.
Quotes
“If I can focus on my core needs, my stress level drops and I can show up as a better mom and partner.”
“Even one glass of wine can affect my sleep — and my ability to manage everything the next day.”
“Your basics are your foundation. Protect them first, and everything else gets easier.”
Resources Mentioned
ParentSwarm — A platform that simplifies childcare coordination and connects families with the support they need. Try it free for a month when you join with code HERON at www.parentswarm.com.
Heron House Management — Virtual house management for busy families: we handle your to-dos so you can focus on what matters most.
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This episode of De-Stress the Nest is sponsored by Heron House Management.
About Heron House Management:
Heron House Management is a virtual house management service that takes the stress out of your busy life by taking on your mental load and managing your To Do list. We provide fractional virtual house management for busy families at 10, 15 and 20+ hours/month.
Meal planning, signing up for kids activities, scheduling doctor's appointments, finding a house cleaner, planning your kid's birthday party, getting quotes for that home renovation project, or scheduling a monthly date night with your significant other and so much more. We do it all!
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[00:02] Hannah Morgan:
Welcome to De-Stress the Nest, a podcast for busy parents where experts share bite-sized tips on how to create systems that minimize stress at home. I'm your host, Hannah Morgan.[00:12] Hannah Morgan:
Today’s episode is sponsored by Heron House Management — the first-ever virtual house management service that lightens your mental load by handling your to-do list with monthly subscriptions of 10, 15, and 20+ hours per month. From meal planning and doctor’s appointments to birthday parties and home projects, Heron House Management helps busy families reclaim their time and live their best lives. Learn more at heronhousemanagement.com.[00:34] Hannah Morgan:
On today’s episode, I’m joined by Carly Buxton, co-founder and CEO of Parent Swarm. Carly is here to share her framework for “protecting the basics,” a simple approach to meeting your most essential needs first so you can stay grounded and resilient when life feels overwhelming.[00:52] Hannah Morgan:
Carly, I’m so excited to have you on the show today. Let’s start by hearing more about Parent Swarm and the work you do.[00:59] Carly Buxton:
Thanks, Hannah! I’m based in Richmond, Virginia, and I run a company called Parent Swarm, which builds tech tools to make the logistics of parenting easier. I’m also a mom of two and teach business communication — so like many working parents, I’m juggling a lot. I love what I do, as long as I can stay on top of it.[01:21] Hannah Morgan:
I love that your company was born out of your own parenting experience. Thanks for joining us![01:30] Hannah Morgan:
So let’s dig in. Today, you’re sharing your idea of protecting the basics. Tell us more.[01:36] Carly Buxton:
This concept came out of a therapy session during COVID, when everything felt overwhelming — school closures, illness, constant change. My therapist helped me build a list of non-negotiables: things I could focus on no matter what. That list has stayed with me for five years, and it’s still one of the first pages in my planner.[02:00] Carly Buxton:
The list is all about core human needs, made practical. For me, the three big ones are:Sleep — I noticed alcohol affects my sleep, so in hard weeks, the first thing I cut is drinking.
Healthy food — I stop chasing grocery store deals and simply order groceries when life feels chaotic.
Exercise — Even a short Peloton yoga or stretching session at home helps me prioritize my wellness when everything else is in flux.
[03:38] Carly Buxton:
When I focus on those basics, my stress levels drop, and I can show up as a better mom, partner, and person.[03:52] Hannah Morgan:
Okay — but you just ruined my three favorite things: saving money, drinking wine, and sitting down![03:59] Carly Buxton:
[Laughs] I get it! I love a glass of wine too. But especially during stressful times, it can backfire — I feel it the next day, even after one glass. Protecting the basics is about stripping things down to what truly supports you, and saving the “extras” for when life is calmer.[04:42] Hannah Morgan:
Yes — it’s really like Maslow’s hierarchy of needs in practice. When you cover your foundation, you’re more present and resilient. And I love your idea of actually writing those basics down in a planner so they’re always visible — even on good days.[05:18] Carly Buxton:
Exactly. Seeing it daily keeps me grounded. It’s my quick reference point when life gets chaotic. If I can hold onto those basics, everything else feels more manageable.[06:02] Hannah Morgan:
That’s such a great takeaway. Thank you so much for sharing your wisdom, Carly.[06:10] Carly Buxton:
Thank you, Hannah — this was wonderful.[07:45] Hannah Morgan:
Thanks for listening to De-Stress the Nest — the podcast where experts share bite-sized tips on how to simplify your life. Don’t forget to subscribe and tune in every Tuesday for more ways to make home feel easier.
